AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaugh!! What a weekend! If I'd slept for even a little wee twenty hour span of it, I'd have been happy, but no!
Spent all day in work on Friday on the phone sorting out different problems being had with things. So Friday evening, all I wanted was a nice quiet pint, not two, not three, just one, sitting with friends and relaxing. So on with the alcohol! Dunno *how* it happened.....but near the end of the night I was flat out on the seat in the pub half asleep and very very drunk. Niall ended up taking me home, by the time we got off the nitelink, oh look!! I'm pretty much sober again (wtf???). So in we go and watch a few hours of That 70s Show and Family Guy (good times). Long story short, we stayed up til after 5 then Niall came in and woke me early enough in the day (this being a lie, I woke up at 10 and was waiting for him to get his lazy ass outta bed). We proceeded to lay aboot his house all day until in the evening Niall's Mammy drove us over to Ivan's...
Ivan's house parties....are legendary. Kinda like the little runt himself! :D So everyone showed up, Ivan got a 73.6% bottle of rum from a few of us (this had to be hidden later on in the night) and we all started drinking. Ivan's the basist of
Outbreed so of course all the lads showed up and regaled us with a good old session out in the shack (which the drummer and guitarist later crashed out in, we do not wanna know what sort of noxious fumes their asses exhumed over the course of the night). Unfortunately I missed most of their playing as I went into the house FOR FIVE MINUTES!! I ended up being away for closer to 40... Was quite pissed off aboot that :( At aboot midnight, the night before kicked in and I headed up to a spare bed and crashed out. Two and a half hours later, in comes Amy-Lou looking for her bag. She leaves, I settle back down and hear from the hall "You woke Reilly? Jeez, that's brave, I wouldn't wanna mess with Reilly". So of course I had to get up to see who it was (turned out to be Amy-Lou's boyfriend who'd known me all of a few hours...he's a good judge of character :D). So up I get, and lo-and-behold, I still have most of a bottle of vodka left :D Into that plunges I! It was aboot 3am by now, the punch had been made and vanished while I crashed (including Ivan feeding some to his thirteen year old sister and getting her drunk) so by now everyone was feeling..what's the word? "Merry" will do. So everyone was merry, and that's when the real fun begins at Ivan's parties :D
So we'll start with Hollywood. It was his first time at one of Ivan's parties, and if this is your first night at Ivan's, you have to puke in the bush! So I pointed out to him the appropriate bush, and over the course of the night he duly made his way to it (my fault probably, but I'll go into Kings in a second). Later, he decided to jump into the bushes, we told him to make sure he didn't jump into the one he'd puked in...so of course he did. Luckily the idiot mis-aimed his jump so instead leaped straight over the bush and landed with a thump into the grass. This point is worthy of note as later on in the night he started claiming that somebody had rugby tackled him and that's why his sleeve was all muddy (all sorts of righteous anger and things ;P). Later again he fell over and clattered his head off of the sideboard, leaving him quite a nasty bump and probably a terrible headache the next day! This was put down to some guy punching him...the poor fella, next thing you know, he'll be out fighting wolves in the field! (Hehe, good old Fionn :D)
Next on the list...pizza! Nothing exciting really happened to the pizza, but it was so damn good it deserved an honourable mention! Ivan's parents ordered 14 pizzas....oh God they were fantastic!
Now, Kings... The rules of Kings are many and complex, moreso as the game continues. Ivan played it at Tall Paul's house on New Year's Eve, hence him being late, getting a taxi and me spraining my ankle. You all sit around a deck of cards spread out face down around a pint glass. Every person must have a drink handy. The turn moves to the left, when it's your turn you must pick up a card and obey the rules listed below. This card is then left face up and you continue until the decks done, which signifies the end of the game. The rules (as we played it, we changed them aboot a bit) were:
Two: Nominate two drinks (one to two people, two to one person, two for you, etc)
Three - Five: Same idea but with three - five drinks
Six: Toilet/Puke/Cigarette Break card (you cannot leave the table without it, you can hold onto it until you need it)
Seven: Mangina/Remove item of clothing for girls
Eight: Get your tits out (everyone has to pull up their tops)
Nine: Busta Rhyme (you say a sentence, person to your left has to rhyme with it and so on, person who fails has to take a drink)
Ten: Social Drink (everybody drinks)
Jack: Slap (the person who draws this card doesn't need to play it right away, but as soon as they slap the table, the last person to slap the table has to drink)
Queen: Quizmaster (again, you don't need to use it right away, however, at some point in the game you must ask a question, whoever answers you, has to drink)
King: The name of the game. Whoever draws a king must fill the pint glass in the center a third full from whatever it is they're drinking. Whoever draws the fourth king, must drink what's in the center glass before the end of the game. If the game ends without them finishing, the glass will be refilled and they must chug it.
Ace: Invent two new rules
Those are the rules of Kings. Naturally enough, on my first game, I got the final king. Two fingers down on that pint and I could feel it...so my pint glass *accidentally* found itself in Hollywood's hands since he had no drink. Hence his puking in the bush and it being my fault .... *shrugs* Fionn, classy to the last, got sick in the kitchen sink, and apparently it tasted of chocolate thanks to Amy-Lou's cake. He also got sick twice more out in the bushes, but that's because he was langered. Some of the new rules for Kings got quite interesting. I liked my one of "Fionn's unconscious on the floor, new rule is, any time someone takes a card, they must hit Fionn" >:D I wasn't as fond of Fionn's rule. His face had sprouted whiskers and a black nose done in permanent ink while he was drunk. So his revenge was "everyone who takes a drink, I get to draw on their faces" I had boobies written in pink across my forehead for most of the night.
Which leads us onto Fionn...oh what a legend! He pulled an eight, did the mangina (testicles and penis between legs so that you have a man-gina) then turned around so that the whole room could see his testicles and penis between his legs. Not being satisfied with this, he decided to streak. We were standing out in the back porch and see a nekkid Fionn flying by. When the guys went to steal his clothes he ran across the dual carriageway, climbed on top of a JCB digger and started parading on top of it saluting the early morning traffic in the buff. When asked aboot it the next day, he denied that it had happened and blamed Bones (Fionn once claimed to have been off fighting wolves when he fell in a field with some dogs).
Which leads us to Bones, what a legend! 7am that morning, he was still going. We're all crashing in his room and he discovers that "there's still some bucky left, waheeeeeeeeeeey". To which he had to celebrate by standing on his bed and downing the bottle of buckfast, staggering all the while, which particularily frightened the people sleeping on the floor beneath him. He bowed to us all, repeatedly, made me get up, give him a hug and tuck him in (such a little sweetie ;) ) and had an argument with the wall because it wasn't his blanket :D When we got up, two and a half hrs later..Bones was still too drunk to stand straight! So into the booze right away with him!
When everyone was at various stages of wakefulness, everyone got quilts, came from beds and crowded Bones' room to watch Ivan's laptop. Therein were several hours lost watching Comedy Central, Family Guy and Invader Zim (good times). Ivan couldn't move much since he managed to "break his ass" climbing over a gate at half 7 that morning to get burgers. I got near Bones' desktop, to which the girls told me that they'd tried but failed to find Bones' porn. One quick search for "pussy" later and I had Bones leaping across the room to delete what porn he had ;P Same search on Ivan's laptop revealed porn he'd forgotten he had..he was very grateful :)
Finally however, an end had to be called, I got the bus into town with great plans: home, food, shower (it was Sunday evening and I hadn't been home since Friday morning) and go to bed. I got home, I got food, I turned on the water and played my ps2 while it heated....I got caught up in the game, didn't turn it off until after 11 and just crashed out late with no shower....and now I'm in work again with no weekend in sight!! I need sleep! :(
-d
